Welcome to post-metaphor America, everybody. In the aftermath of three deadly campus shootings in just the span of a little more than a week — in Oregon, in Arizona, and in Texas — it’s clear yet again that America loves its guns more than it loves just about anything, including the freedom to walk around a school setting without fear of getting shot to death by a sociopathic “beta male.”
Everytown for Gun Safety reports there have 149 school shootings since the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012. And as an “SNL” parody ad that didn’t feel like a parody at all this past weekend reminded us, “Guns: We’re here to stay.” But a group of University of Texas at Austin students called Campus (DILDO) Carry suggests that if you really need to carry around a penis substitute to feel secure ands strong, why not carry around a more authentic-looking one?