1. Dogs are not kids.
It usually goes like this. “Ugh. You know what really bugs me? When so-and-so compares her dog to my kid. Or when so-and-so refers to their dog as their kid. Dogs are not kids! She has NO IDEA!”
2. You think you’re [insert anything here]! Try having kids!
Tired, stressed, in pain, covered in urine, it doesn’t matter. They all apply. Too often, we parents downplay non-parent’s concerns by pulling ours out and tossing them on the table. “Oh man! You worked 50 hours this week? Try doing that with kids!” “Oh man, you think your feet hurt from working outside all day! I’ve been chasing my toddler blah blah blah, punch me in the face please.”
3. Don’t worry, when you have kids you’ll [insert anything here].
Not be grossed out by boogers, know who Dora the Explorer is, be happy…UGH. We’ve got to quit assuming that everyone is going to have kids. Some people don’t want kids and choose not to have them. Some people really want kids and are trying incredibly hard to have them. Indicating to these people that having kids is the only way they will reach some higher level of understanding is both inconsiderate and rude.
4. Is the party kid-friendly?
Unless you and your friend have some previous communication on this topic about how your little one is always welcome, assume the party is not kid-friendly. Don’t ask. If it were “kid-friendly” they would have invited you and your kids, and mentioned the awesome play room that they will have set up in the basement.
5. My life didn’t have meaning before I had kids!
Another way to say this: My life was meaningless before I had kids. Another way: Life without kids is meaningless.Lok, I know this feeling. Sometimes it feels like all the worries I had before my kids were trivial. I understand the urge to convey that feeling into words. Don’t do it.